And so we found ourselves at Lincoln Castle visiting the annual Lincoln Sausage Festival, Sam, Dad and Sam's cousin James. First things first, Sam made friends with a huge banger....
He wasn't too keen on cosying up with the whopping sausage but bravely went for a hug. Come on dude, it ain't that scary!
The festival is held in the grounds of Lincoln Castle, which is atop the city's hill. This is the main approach from the downhill area, it's a very steep path up the hill, which is imaginatively called....wait for it, wait for it....Steep Hill. Must have taken ages to come up with that one. We discussed what modes of transport would be best if we wanted to race each other back down; bike was ruled out (too bumpy on the cobbles), ditto skateboard and roller skates. Space hopper was considered favourably until we hit on the perfect method - zorb race down Steep Hill! When we win the lottery....
One great thing about the sausage festival is that you're allowed into the castle for free. Great scheme Lincoln, please do it again next year.
Although we arrived mid-afternoon the place was still thronged with visitors, sampling the wealth of fabulous foods being offered at the dozens of stalls. I shoved a sausage bun down the nippers to keep up energy levels (as if they needed it) and we trawled around hunting for free samples.
Top of the entertainment bill was a band called The Cosmic Sausages. They were extremely funny, very versatile in the range of music they played (from Anarchy In The UK to You're Beautiful by Bruno Mars), but their best number was My Old Man Said Follow The Van. This was because they had a special guest playing the spoons for One Song Only - me! They asked for a volunteer and Sam's hand shot up....I grabbed it and lowered it, but then James put his hand up too....I'll get him back one way or another. And that was how I ended up playing the spoons and dancing like a pearly king in the middle of Lincoln Castle....
My reward was a fetching pair of sparkly sunglasses, modelled here by mister Elton James....
And later on by Dame Samuel Etheridge....
The beautiful Lincoln Cathedral was also open to the public, and it's just a short meander across the cobbles from the castle - it would have been rude not to pop in for an hour or so. Of course, you must try to find the legendary Lincoln Imp when you visit, it's hidden in the masonry and brings good luck to all who spot him. If you want to cheat you can pop 20p in a slot and he's lit up by electrickery, which I bet he hates! Here's Sam and James imp-spotting - the imp is in the illuminated perch at the top of the column right in front of them....
Amazingly I spotted two more imps on the way out of the cathedral....do the myth-writers know about this pair I wonder?
Sausages, imps, crazy specs, six-foot bangers, and live music, what more could you want? How's about exploring the spooky dungeons and cells in the castle, and a return to the incredibly oppressive and genuinely frightening chapel?
All finished off with a bout of hill-rolling, obviously. Dad didn't participate. Last time I rolled down a hill inside a castle (Castle Rising near King's Lynn if you're interested) I observed "OK. I can see the castle. It's upside down. And not one single part of my body is in contact with the ground. This is going to hurt...." It did! I thought I'd broken my ankle, poor old man than I am. It was lucky that I landed on Sam, winding him and kicking him in the eye in the process, nice work son....